Chloeisms

Chloe: Let's pretend Mommy and Daddy are monsters.
Zoe: If you're Mommy and Daddy are monsters wouldn't that make you a monster too?
pause
Chloe: Okay, let's pretend we're in the Kid Club and Mommy and Daddy have been grown up napped.

Chloeisms

It's been awhile...

Chloe: "You know that movie that's like Alice in Wonderland but it's got a good witch and a bad witch?"
Daddy: "The Wizard of Oz?."
Chloe: "Yes"

She was explaining her secret recipe to me.
Chloe: "My recipe has garlic in it and that stuff that's like vegetable oil."
Mommy: "Olive oil?"
Chloe: "No, it's not slidey at all."
Mommy: "Butter?"
Chloe: "No."
Mommy: "Shortening? Lard?"
Chloe: "No, you can't break it all. It comes in a can or a box and you pour it in."
Mommy: "Chicken broth?"
Chloe: "Yes! chicken broth! and the very best part of the secret? My recipe has tomatoes! Yum!"

I think it's going around...

Chloe singing: Oompa feber! I bet you're jumpin' around. Oompa feber! I bet you're jumpin' around.

(To the tune of Boogie Fever)

And if you haven't seen Despicable Me. Go. Now.

.

Give a little whistle...

Chloe-"Okay if you need me just whistle like this Toowhoo!"
short pause
"But don't whistle like me because I can't whistle."

Down on the farm...

This afternoon we went to visit the Martins. Wub had a great time drinking fresh milk and helping feed the calves and steers. Now she want to be a farmer and a Musketeer.

Chloe-"Mommy, are bears delicious?"
Mommy-"Well, I've never eaten a bear before so I don't know. But my Uncle Pat has eaten a bear."
Chloe-"Why did he eat a bear?"
Mommy- "Well he lives in Montana and a bear attacked his house so he shot it and killed it. And My Uncle Pat is a lot like Mommy and believes if you kill something you have to eat it. Otherwise it's a bad wasteful thing."
Long pause...
Chloe-"Well if I ever have to shoot a person, I am NOT going to eat them."

And that is of course, how it should be.

A very small budget...

So the other night while we were watching the "Games of the Thirtieth Olympiad!" a commercial came on for possibly insurance and they mentioned the word budget. Chloe immediately began ranting...
"I can't believe they said budget! Why would they say budget? I can't believe they just said budget on tv! Budget is not a nice word AT ALL!"
Mommy-"Budget means how much money you have to spend."
Chloe-"Well Kaysie calls me a budget all the time and I don't like it!"
Mommy-pause "You mean midget?"
Chloe-"Yeah! midget!"

Gotta love that kid.

Chloe-"I'm magic! Wanna know why?"
Mommy-"Sure baby, why are you magic?"
Chloe-"See this?" Pointing to the hot water tap in her bathroom sink."It's rainbow water. When you mix it with soap and wash your hands in it it makes your hands magic! Now you wash your hands so they can be magic too!"

How sweet the sound...

Chloe-"Mommy what's your favorite song?"
Mommy-"Amazing Grace"
Chloe-(in her best four year old thrash metal voice) "Amazing Grace! She's so amazing, so amazing AMAZING!...Is that how it goes?"
Mommy-"No, but that's my new favorite version."

Chloe-"I've got my sword of galasies and I'm going to defeat the villaingers!"
(Ever noticed how villainous villagers usually are?)

Chloe-"Hey! let's tell each other smooky stories!"

I love that kid. A lot.

In other news I just got my fabric from Spoonflower. When I first discovered Spoonflower I was completely enamored with the idea of printing custom fabric. Two or three years later I finally learned enough to feel confident spending money on fabric I designed.

The first five are an homage to the much loved Blossom Festival sheets sets from Cannon. Sold by KMart in the early 70's these were much loved by little girls across the land. (We had the Cannon Malibu Stripe which were also pretty cool.)

Blossom Festival Blue














       Blossom Festival Black and White

                                                                                   

Blossom Festival PinkB

Blossom Festival Lime

Monkey Toile 

To be fair I changed the image size of the monkey toile to a much smaller repeat. I only ordered the extra large repeat by accident. I did make Wub a stinkin' cute shift dress from the mistake. 

And I'll kick her sir...

Chloe-I'm gonna be a Hi-Yaher when I grow up.
Becky-Like a ninja?
Chloe- No, a Hi-Yaher! and I'm gonna save the world because I've been practicing all day!

Erm...

So Tuesday I was sewing lapped t'shirts for Ben and Jude and Chloe was sitting at the table drawing. She paused, looked up at me and said. "Mommy, what's a virgin?"

My brain went into panic mode.  

Interior Dialogue-"Where did she hear that word? She doesn't hang around older kids..was it on t.v.? Oh God! how do I dumb this down? The farthest we've got on where do babies come from is 'Mommies and Daddies make them.' Ack, okay calm down..."

Mommy-(very casually)"Where did you hear that word baby?"

Chloe-"Martha Speaks!"

Interior Dialogue-"Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, they wouldn't say that word on Martha Speaks, what word did they say. Think, think, think..."

Mommy-"You mean version?"

Chloe-"Yes, version."

Mommy-(In a much relieved voice.) Okay, see how Mommy is making both Ben and Jude the same type of shirt but each one is slightly different? That means I made two different versions."

Chloe looks at me for a moment then says- "No Mommy, like you don't like something."

Mommy-"Oh...aversion!" (Such as I have an aversion to this topic)

That said...

Lapped T'Shirts for Ben and Jude

Two different versions...

Chloe-isms

"Hey Mom let's go watch the grats!" (Rugrats)

Whilst telling jokes...
Chloe-"Why was the elephant crying?"
Daddy-"I don't know, why was the elephant crying?"
Chloe-"Because he missed his mom and dad."
Daddy-"That's not a joke."
Chloe-"Yes it is, it's a sad joke!"

We were discussing why roses had thorns and I told her it was to protect them from predators. A few minutes later she was running through the house yelling:
"Help! help! I need to protect myself from the creditors!"

Zebras are tasty!

Being small and unaware of inappropriate ideas Chloe sometimes says thing that verge on serial killer.


Chloe -Daddy do people eat zebras?
Daddy - No Chloe, people don't usually eat zebras.
Chloe -   Well, if you killed a zebra, and shaved off all it's fur and cut up into pieces and cooked it...
It would be delicious!

At this point I stared pointedly at Karl and said to Chloe
"Where did you get that idea?"


We've decided to blame Little House Books and PBS.

Little Miss Firecracker

Eeek! a mouse...

Because Chloe uses our computer quite a bit we bought a smaller, more child friendly mouse for her to use. Apparently it takes a little getting used to. She came into the bedroom where I was reading and said:
"Mom, the mouse is stretching me out!"
Mommy - "Why baby?" (and yes, lips were twitching from trying not to laugh)
Chloe - "Because it's making me a little crazy!"
(More lip twitching from Mommy)
She then cups her hand around an imaginary mouse and moves it back and forth perfectly pantomiming controlling a mouse. Then she points off to the right of the imaginary computer screen and says in a slightly frantic voice:
"And the mouse stays right there!"

Fortunately Daddy was in the front room and I sent her off to have him fix the mouse that was "stretching" her out and I could laugh without hurting her feelings.

Fee, Fie, Fo, Fum!

Chloe-I'm gonna have to disappear that giant!"
Daddy -"To the woods?"
(Chloe often plays magician and makes things and us disappear to the woods. She always makes them [and us] undisappear when she's done.)
Chloe-"I'm going to disappear him to jail!"
Daddy-"To jail? Why?"
Chloe-"He's bad."
Daddy-"Bad? Why?"
Chloe-"'Cause he gave me a heart attack and you are not supposed to give little girls heart attacks!"

My herbivore wants a hamburger...

Mommy-"What are you doing Chloe?"
Chloe-"I'm feeding my giraffe. she mostly eats meat...and candy as a snack"
long pause
Chloe-"She likes to mostly eat mice and other insects...Are mice insects?"
Daddy-"No"
Chloe-"Are they bugs?"
Daddy-"No, they are small animals called rodents."
Chloe-"Well she mostly likes to eat dead mice. So I give her dead mice and say 'Eat your dead mice!' and she eats them."

Later on
Chloe-"I have to take my giraffe to the hospital."
...
Chloe-"The doctor says my giraffe needs to rest up"
Mommy-"Why?"
Chloe-"She's not feeling well...she ate too much"
Mommy-"Too many mice?"
Chloe-"No, too much meat."

Chloeisms from the babysitter.

We are lucky. Really lucky. We have to work (and I like to work aside from that) but it's hard to leave our amazing kid. Taking her to someone who genuinely loves and appreciates her makes it easier. Wub loves her weekday sitter Terie and her brood.

To prove a point, a week or two ago Terie had a family emergency and Wub spent the day with her cousin Andie and Andie's wonderous ginger haired boy. Although she had a great time, when we came to pick her up she cried a little because she wanted to see...that's right Terie.

Every day that we don't send Chloe off to big box daycare I am thrilled that I have the luxury of knowing that that she is being truly cared for.

Terie-Wouldn't it be funny if your name was Cock-a-doodle doo? Then everyone would call you Cock-a-doodle doo instead of Chloe.
Chloe-No it wouldn't.
Terie-Why not?
Chloe-Because I don't speak Spanish.
(and who can argue with that?)

Terie-What is the moon made of?
Chloe-Wood...glowing wood.
Terie-And how did it get there?
Chloe-The aliens made it.
(of course)

From the mouths of babes...

Sunday morning I made Wub a reversible halter top to wear to Dad's memorial service. I put it on her and she immediately began tugging at the bottom ruffle.

Chloe-"Where's the rest of it?"
Mommy-"It's a shirt sweetheart. It doesn't have a skirt."
Chloe-(Still tugging at the rufflle.)"But where's the rest of it?'
Mommy-"Honey, I don't know what you mean. What rest of it?"
Chloe-"Where's the part that covers my belly button?"

I promptly explained to her that it was supposed to be short like that. She seemed mostly ok although I did see her tugging at it occasionally.

Later that evening I sewed up a super quick sun dress for her. When I tried it on her...

Mommy-"Do you like it?"
Chloe-"Yes it's very pretty..." Smooths down the front of the dress... "and it protects my belly"

Chloe Quotes

Chloe-"Okay, we need to pretend we have a drawing desk..." Picks up her Magna-Doodle which she calls her drawing desk..."Okay we'll just have to pretend that this is a pretend drawing desk."

Chloe-"Okay, I'll be Goldilocks and you can be the seven bears."

Chloe-"Daddy you pretend to be the pretend daddy, Mommy you be the pretend mommy and I'll be the babysitter."