Book It Day or a butterfly emerges from it's cocoon. Which is symbolic of hope and maybe some kind of metaphor for triumph in the face of adversity.

 So I've been in the hospital. For a week. This is actually the second time I've been hospitalized in three weeks. But I've been ill. For about three months. Not "I'm a dumbass because I won't go to the doctor so now things are serious." kind of ill but, several tips to urgent care/emergency room, scary antibiotics, ill.

 There is nothing like lying flat on your back for days on end, with iv antibiotics running through the central line they jacked into your neck,  to help you realize that you are a complete loser for not finishing your daughter's Book It Day costume.

 If you are unfamiliar with the Book It Program, it is an incentive program sponsored by Pizza Hut that encourages children to read. Our school takes it completely seriously, asking the kids to dress up like their favorite characters from books and having a parade in the gymnasium.

 This year we had a theme: Eric Carle. And although I like Eric Carle's books, he is not one of our favorite, favorites. I do however really love the beauty of his artwork. So when Wub said she wanted to be the Butterfly from The Very Hungry Caterpillar I decided I was going to make her a long tunic style dress with huge butterfly wing sleeves. I was then going to airbrush the dress to mimic Mr. Carle's gorgeous artwork.

 Best laid plans....

But I had to do something. It was so hard on Wub and MHM worrying about me while trying to keep everything just turning over at home. MHM would get up in the morning, get Wub ready for school, head to school and work, pick up Wub from the sitter, grab something to eat and head to the hospital until it was time to go home and get some sleep. At some point he also picked up an upper respiratory infection so that was nice. She was such a trooper, I couldn't let her miss out on the fun of Book It Day too.

 So I sent him to the Dollar Tree to pick up poster board, green duct tape, colored pipe cleaners, and red sock hat. With crayons and a few supplies from home we got started.

 Using the book as a guide I cut out two wing shapes from the poster board. Then I lightly traced the major areas of the wings. Then we colored and colored and colored some more. It took the best part of three evenings and most of one very long day to color both wings (front and back). To be honest, it probably would have taken less time if we hadn't been using a hospital floor and tray table respectively to color on. Also if I had been slightly less doped up.

 After finishing the wings we used the green duct tape to join them together. Four elastic loops were held in place with clear strapping tape and we had ourselves a pretty rockin' pair of butterfly wings.

The head was made by lightly, tack stitching a circle of green foam on top of a circle of yellow foam to the hat brim and repeating on the other side. We then threaded a green pipe cleaner through the top of the hat, centered it making each side equal length. Then curled each side around a pen to form the antennae. I think she made a pretty adorable butterfly.

It definitely distracted us for awhile from scary allergic reactions to antibiotics and scary words like Lupus. They still are not sure what is wrong with me. Pathology points to an infection but it also points to an autoimmune disease such as Lupus. I hope that is not what it is. I won't know the answers for a while because the rheumatologist doesn't have any openings until May. No matter what the outcome. I will make do.

Hell, I hope that I can do better than make do and that I can make a butterfly.

These Bars are Bananas, B*A*N*A*N*A*S Fosters...

The next logical step from Caramel Apple Bar is obviously a Bananas Foster Bar, right?
Flaky shortbread topped with creamy, rummy, roasty bananas and sprinkle of crisp, nutty streusel. So yum, you gotta get you some.

Shortbread Base
1/2 cup rolled oats
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 tsp vanilla extract
3/4 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 350. Lightly butter a 9x13 baking pan.

 In a blender or food processor grind the oats into a fine(ish) flour. In a bowl mix the oats, flour, sugar, salt, vanilla and butter together to form a dough. Press into the bottom of a prepared 9x13 pan. Bake for 15 minutes.

 In the meantime prepare:

Banana Filling
4 ripe bananas,thinly sliced.
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup rum
3 Tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1/2 teaspoon salt.

 Mix the milk, brown sugar, rum, butter and salt together, stir in the sliced bananas and pour mixture over the partially baked crust.

Sprinkle evenly with:

Streusel Topping
1/4 cup rolled oats
1/4 cup all purpose flour
1/4 cup chopped walnuts
3 Tablesp0ons packed brown sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 Tablespoon cold, unsalted butter cut into small cubes.

 Mix all ingredients together using a pastry blender fork until butter is thoroughly distributed. Sprinkle mixture over apple filling. Return pan to oven and continue baking for 45-55 minutes until streusel is crisped and brown

 Allow to cool and cut into 16-20 squares.

Caramel Apple Bars 'cause it's Fall Y'all!

 There is something about the first few days of Autumn that cause an almost uncontrollable urge to eat apples. I know for some people Fall  is the time of pumpkin spice but for me the sweet, crisp tang of the new apple crop is infinitely more appealing.

These bars have a crisp, buttery shortbread base topped off with a caramel, creamy apple filling finished with a layer of crumbly streussel. Oh my!

They are amazing still warm from the oven but if you have the patience to wait until they've fully cooled you will be rewarded. The crust will firm up giving the bars a good crunch and the caramel apple filling will mellow and set.




Shortbread Base
1/2 cup rolled oats
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 tsp vanilla extract
3/4 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 350. Lightl butter a 9x13 baking pan.

 In a blender or food processor grind the oats into a fine(ish) flour. In a bowl mix the oats, flour, sugar, salt, vanilla and butter together to form a dough. Press into the bottom of a prepared 9x13 pan. Bake for 15 minutes.

 In the meantime prepare:

Caramel Apple Filling
2 peeled, sliced into wedges and thinly sliced. (I used 1 Granny Smith and 1 Pink Lady)
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
2 Tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1/2 teaspoon salt.

 Mix the milk, brown sugar, butter and salt together, stir in the sliced apples and pour mixture over the partially baked crust.

Sprinkle evenly with:

Streussel Topping
1/2 cup rolled oats
1/2 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 tsp salt
2 Tablespoons cold, unsalted butter cut into small cubes.

 Mix all ingredients together using a pastry blender fork until butter is thoroughly distributed. Sprinkle mixture over apple filling. Return pan to oven and continue baking for 45-55 minutes until streussel is crisped and brown

 Allow to cool and cut into 16-20 squares.
Take an artfully arranged picture and then nom, nom, nom!

Blueberry Orange Jam

3 Large Navel Oranges Zested, then peeled and roughly chopped
30 0z of fresh blueberries
Juice of half a lemon
5 cups of sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 tablespoons low sugar pectin combined with
1/2 cup sugar

 In a large, wide saucepan combine orange zest, chopped oranges, the blueberries, 5 cups of sugar and the salt.
 Bring to a rolling boil over high heat then turn down to medium and let high simmer for 10 minutes. Stir frequently as it simmers mashing the blueberiies against the side of the pan to break them up.
 Once the beries are broken down and the jam is slightly thickened, turn the heat back up to high and bring everything to a rolling boil. Stir in the sugar/pectin mixture and bring back to a boil for 1 minute.

 Remove from heat and ladle into clean containers of your choice.

Pineapple Galangal (kinda like ginger) and Vanilla Jam

2 whole pineapples peeled cored and cut into chunks
4 cups sugar
Juice and zest from 1 large lemon
1 vanilla bean
1 inch chunk of galangal or ginger root
pinch salt
1/2 cup sugar
3 tablespoons low sugar pectin

In a large non-reactive (glass, ceramic or stainless steel) bow mix together the pineapple chunks and 1/2 cup of sugar. Mix together and allow to sit at room temperature several hours or in the refrigerator overnight.
(Alternatively you can mix all 4 cups of the sugar in and allow to macerate in the fridge for up to five days.)
In a blender or food processor puree half of the pineapple with the vanilla bean and the galangal until the vanilla pod is thoroughly broken down. Pour into a wide shallow pan. Repeat the puree process with the other half of the pineapple. You can leave this half slightly chunky if you like. Pour into a wide shallow pan. Add the remaining 3 1/2 cups of sugar (Unless you did the fridge with all the sugar for a few days thing.) the juice and zest from a large lemon and a pinch of salt. Bring to a boil over high high heat.
Continue boiling for 8-12 minutes until mixture is thickened and pineapple is tender. Skim off any foam that rises to the top.*
Combine the half cup of sugar with the 3 tablespoons of low sugar pectin. It is important to use low sugar pectin in this recipe. There is not enough sugar in the recipe for regular pectin to work. Stir into the boiling pineapple mix and allow to cook 1-2 minutes more.
Remove from heat and place in containers of your choice.
I really do prefer the plastic ones to canning jars because I give away most of my jam. But this recipe is just fine for hot water canning or flip over canning.

*So I've skimmed off the foam should I just throw it away?
You can just toss it...However you can also:

Mix it with 2 cups of whipped cream or a can of coconut milk and freeze it for Fruity Ice Cream.

Same as above but in popsicle molds.

Mix it into a complimentary juice maybe add a dash of adult beverage for a refreshing mocktail or cocktail.

Use it as a topping for sundaes or waffles or pancakes.

Mix a 1/4 cup of it (or to taste) with ice and 12 ounces of seltzer water for the best fruit soda you'll ever have.

  

Strawberry Vanilla and Lemon Jam (with or without Rose)

4 lbs of strawberries, trimmed, hulled and cut in half. This will be about 3 1/4 pounds after prep.
2 large lemons, zested and juiced
1 vanilla bean split and seeds scraped out
3 cups sugar
****************
pinch salt
1/2 cup sugar
3 tablespoons low sugar pectin*
1 tsp rose water, optional

 For best results plan ahead 3-5 days. Can be made the day of but the jam will be significantly more flavorful and have a better texture if you can macerate the berries for a few days.

 Mix the first four ingredients in a large nonreactive bowl (stainless steel, glass or ceramic) stirring to combine well. Let macerate covered at room temperature for several hours or cover and refrigerate for up to 5 days.

 Mix together the half cup of sugar and three tablespoons of low sugar pectin. It is important to use the low sugar type in this recipe. It will not set otherwise.
 
 Option 1) Berries suspended in Strawberry Jelly: Place the macerated berries minus the vanilla pod in a large shallow pan with a pinch of salt. Bring to a boil over high heat then cook on high for 8-10 minutes until berries are softened and the juices have thickened. Skim off any foam that rises to the top.

 Option 2) Jammier Jam: Place half of the berries and the vanilla pod in a blender or food processor and puree. Pour into a large shallow pan with a pinch of salt. Use the juices from the strawberries to help "rinse" the blender out and into the pan. Add the remaining berries and juice. Bring to a boil over high heat then cook on high for 4-6 minutes until berries are softened and the juices have thickened. Skim off any foam that rises to the top.

 For either option: Stir in the pectin/sugar mix and continue to boil for 1-2 minutes. Remove from heat. Stir in Rose Water if you are using it. Can or container as you see fit.

  I like plastic containers. One because I can give them away and not regret the loss of a canning jar. Two because I can literally be done with a batch of jam (after prep/maceration time) in less than half an hour. If you use plastic containers and you want to store them they must be refrigerated for up to three months or frozen if you want to keep them longer.

Hot jamn!

Jalalujah! Jalapeno Jam WIP

1 large red bell pepper seeded and diced fine
12 large green jalapenos* tops removed and cut in half
1 small onion finely diced
2 large clove of garlic minced
1 1/2 cups apple cider vinegar
3 cups of sugar
1 1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1 teaspoon butter
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
2 tablespoons sugar
3 tablespoons low sugar pectin

*You can either seed and demembrane all, some or none of the jalapenos. I advise taking a thin slice from the top of the pepper to get a rough idea of heat. Mine were pretty spicy so I deseeded half of them. You can also reserve the seeds and once everything is combined and cooked together for a bit if you feel it isn't as spicy as you want you can chop it fine and toss some in.

 Place 8 of the jalapenos and 1 cup of the vinegar in a blender or food processor and puree. Set aside for a minute or two. Do not open the top as the jalapeno pepper and vinegar fumes can really do a number on your eyes and lungs.

 Cut the remaining 4 jalapenos into fine dice.

 In a large shallow pot combine the red pepper, diced jalapeno. onion, garlic, salt, pepper and butter. Carefully pour the jalapeno pepper and vinegar mixture into the pan. Use the remaining half cup of vinegar to swish out any remaining jalapeno pulp from the blender and pour into the pan. Add three cups of sugar and stir to combine.

 Bring to a boil over high heat skimming off and discarding any foam that comes to the top. Once the mixture reaches the boil set a timer and boil (watching carefully) for 10 minutes. (This is the stage you could add more of the reserved jalapeno seeds if you felt it needed more heat.)

 In the meantime mix together the 2 tablespoons of sugar and the 3 tablespoon of low sugar pectin together in a small dish and set aside. It is important to use Low Sugar Pectin otherwise the jam will not fully set.)
Once the mixture has boiled for 10 minutes stir in the 1/4 cup of vinegar and the sugar/pectin mixture. Boil for 1-2 minutes more.

 At this point you can use your favorite canning method to preserve it. Or like me you can let it cool just slightly and divide it into small plastic containers. That way you can give it away and not feel wistful at the loss of of your semi expensive canning jars. As we all know almost no one ever returns those things no matter how much you promise to refill them with more home made jam.

 This will be better as the flavors meld so if you can wait a day or two good on you. If you can't, well I understand.

Warning: This is a Mother's Day Post and it will probably make you cry...sorry

 My mother used to say "I miss your face." You'd call and if she hadn't seen you in awhile "Come see me, I miss your face." or you'd stop by and it would be "Where ya' been? I missed your face."














 Thing is, I don't miss Mom's face. If I want to see Mom's face it's everywhere. I can look at pictures of her when she was young, freshly married and impossibly beautiful like a glamorous movie star.


  Or when she was in the prime of motherhood, hair tied back in a bandana surrounded by a passel of kids but still ridiculously stunning.

 I've got pictures of her in her thirties surrounded by her sisters, laughing and carrying on.

Elegant shots of her at inaugurations and  galas and weddings and charity events. Pictures of her as a kid, with the kids, at home and in hospitals. Shots from holidays and of course too many pictures of her in that bedroom.

 

If I look in the faces of my sisters and brothers, my nieces and nephews I can find bits of her there. So I don't miss her face.

 I look at these pictures taken with brownie cameras, and polaroids, cheap 110 cameras and disposable 35mms and then digital cameras and flip phones and of course, smart phones. It's the phone pictures that hurt me.

 I've got videos of my cat chasing rubber bands and my husband opening presents, my daughter tap dancing and countless little kids yelling "Watch me! Watch me!" and in all that time I've, in fact we've, had a ready, easy source of video it didn't occur to any of us to turn it on her.

 After Mom died and the initial numbness that carries you through planning a funeral and smiling bravely going back to work I began to long to hear her voice. Something as stupid as an old voice mail would have sufficed. "Hi this is your mother. Call me." But I am good at pressing 7 so I didn't have an old voice mail.

 I wish I had taken my phone out of my pocket and recorded her giving candy to Wub. Telling her about some rock in her collection or any damn conversation at all. I didn't know I needed to and now I regret it.

Today is Mother's Day and I miss my mother. I miss her so much. Not her face...her voice.

Make a wish...

Dandelions must be God's favorite flowers. They are humble, beautiful, often misunderstood and maligned and they are spread by making wishes.

Solar Powered Whale

This is Wubby she likes to rock.

Bad puns aside the girl really does love rocks.

 When Kids Clothes Week announced Wild Things as their theme for this quarter the first thing that popped into my head was Kurt Halsey. If you are unfamiliar with his heartbreakingly sweet paintings you've been missing out. His art makes me both incredibly happy and a little bit weepy. Some things though are just a perfect slice of bliss.

The Green Album is one of my absolute favorites of his. In my head it was the perfect thing to Sharpie paint and embroider on a Solar Dress.

I made my first Solar Dress nearly four years ago. I credit Charity Beasley and Indietutes as one of my main teachers when I was learning to sew and this sweet drss was the first pattern I felt really comfortable making.

 Sadly the pattern only goes up to 7/8 and Wub has outgrown.

 Fortunately because so many wonderful people have shared their skills and knowledge through magic of the interwebs; in addition to learning how to sew  I've also learned how to grade a pattern up.

Tuesday evening I washed the fine cotton sheet I had decided to use as fabric. Wednesday morning I woke up got everyone off to work and school whilst dyeing the sheet from white to pale blue and upsizing the pattern. While the fabric was rewashing and drying I worked on the Hooded Maggie Mae. Once it was done I could concentrate on something simpler.

 The solar dress is an incredibly fast sew. I had it cut out and sewn in under an hours time. After Sewing it all together I used a light box to trace the painting onto the bodice using an aqua colored Sharpie. I used freezer paper behind the image to protect the rest of the dress and I lightly filled in the whale with aqua and teal using rubbing alcohol to blur and soften the lines. I was going for a dreamy watercolor effect.

 After I had the Whale painted to my satisfaction I embroidered all the outlines with 4 strands of navy blue cotton thread because I didn't have any embroidery floss of appropriate color and I wanted to get started.

 I had no idea that I was secretly in love with embroidery until I was making Wub's Easter outfit earlier this year. One hand picked zipper and a few lazy daisies later and I am hooked through the nose. Pretty funny considering that I kinda despise hand sewing.

 Finished up the embroidery last night and this afternoon we took it out for a spin.

Twirly? Check.

Sassy? Check

 Full of sweet, charming details and comfy to boot? Check, check and check.

 

Kinda makes you want to jump for joy...

The end.