Chloe-isms

"Hey Mom let's go watch the grats!" (Rugrats)

Whilst telling jokes...
Chloe-"Why was the elephant crying?"
Daddy-"I don't know, why was the elephant crying?"
Chloe-"Because he missed his mom and dad."
Daddy-"That's not a joke."
Chloe-"Yes it is, it's a sad joke!"

We were discussing why roses had thorns and I told her it was to protect them from predators. A few minutes later she was running through the house yelling:
"Help! help! I need to protect myself from the creditors!"

Zebras are tasty!

Being small and unaware of inappropriate ideas Chloe sometimes says thing that verge on serial killer.


Chloe -Daddy do people eat zebras?
Daddy - No Chloe, people don't usually eat zebras.
Chloe -   Well, if you killed a zebra, and shaved off all it's fur and cut up into pieces and cooked it...
It would be delicious!

At this point I stared pointedly at Karl and said to Chloe
"Where did you get that idea?"


We've decided to blame Little House Books and PBS.

Halloween

We had a lot of fun doing our Jack-o'Lanterns this year. Thanks to Sid the Science Kid Chloe is worried/fascinated by the idea of Frances (her pumpkin's name) decaying.

As we were leaving the house to go trick or treating I noticed a fellow Halloweenie coming round the corner. I went in to get some candy for them. The nice lady asked if Chloe was a Roller Derby Girl because she was also a Roller Derby Girl!!! One of our very own Demolition City Roller Derby Girls!

Hooray for Halloween!

Little Miss Firecracker

Eeek! a mouse...

Because Chloe uses our computer quite a bit we bought a smaller, more child friendly mouse for her to use. Apparently it takes a little getting used to. She came into the bedroom where I was reading and said:
"Mom, the mouse is stretching me out!"
Mommy - "Why baby?" (and yes, lips were twitching from trying not to laugh)
Chloe - "Because it's making me a little crazy!"
(More lip twitching from Mommy)
She then cups her hand around an imaginary mouse and moves it back and forth perfectly pantomiming controlling a mouse. Then she points off to the right of the imaginary computer screen and says in a slightly frantic voice:
"And the mouse stays right there!"

Fortunately Daddy was in the front room and I sent her off to have him fix the mouse that was "stretching" her out and I could laugh without hurting her feelings.

Fee, Fie, Fo, Fum!

Chloe-I'm gonna have to disappear that giant!"
Daddy -"To the woods?"
(Chloe often plays magician and makes things and us disappear to the woods. She always makes them [and us] undisappear when she's done.)
Chloe-"I'm going to disappear him to jail!"
Daddy-"To jail? Why?"
Chloe-"He's bad."
Daddy-"Bad? Why?"
Chloe-"'Cause he gave me a heart attack and you are not supposed to give little girls heart attacks!"

My herbivore wants a hamburger...

Mommy-"What are you doing Chloe?"
Chloe-"I'm feeding my giraffe. she mostly eats meat...and candy as a snack"
long pause
Chloe-"She likes to mostly eat mice and other insects...Are mice insects?"
Daddy-"No"
Chloe-"Are they bugs?"
Daddy-"No, they are small animals called rodents."
Chloe-"Well she mostly likes to eat dead mice. So I give her dead mice and say 'Eat your dead mice!' and she eats them."

Later on
Chloe-"I have to take my giraffe to the hospital."
...
Chloe-"The doctor says my giraffe needs to rest up"
Mommy-"Why?"
Chloe-"She's not feeling well...she ate too much"
Mommy-"Too many mice?"
Chloe-"No, too much meat."