The P Word

Mommy: "What kind of dress do you want for your birthday?"
Wub: "I want the top to come to right here. (Makes a motion high across her chest.) With no sleeves and no collar and a great big, really, really fluffy skirt! And pink."

So basically she wanted the dress she wore two years ago for Easter.

I love this dress. We bought it at Target and paid full price for it. Which for me is saying a lot about the depth of my love for it. 

Did I want to make the exact same dress? Eh...not so much. So I was perusing Ebay for some lace to make it just a bit different when I came across this beauty.

 I asked Wub how she felt about a pink and black dress and was granted permission to make it in those colors. 

I used Violette Field Threads Chloe Dress pattern. I've had my eye on this one for a couple of years and I finally felt my skill set had grown enough to tackle it without tears.* I used the size 7 and it was a spot on perfect fit. 

I modified the pattern by shortening the bodice by 3.5 inches, leaving off the sash and adding tulle ties to the side instead. Autie and Jen from ICandy Handmade have a fantastic tutorial on adding tulle ombre to a bodice. I've wanted to try it ever since I first saw it. I wasn't 100% convinced the black satin wouldn't overpower the pink tulle. I was very happy that it worked exactly the way I saw it in my head.

 The instructions for sewing were pretty sparse and I definitely felt there were some places that essential information was missing. There are no instructions for grading seams before turning the bodice. A novice sewist would probably have some issues getting things to turn out as nice as s/he might like. 

Other bits of the pattern were brilliant including the instructions for sewing the side seams of the bodice. This is the first time I haven't struggled with that part. The advice on using upholstery thread and a heavy duty needle to sew the layers of tulle, net and chiffon was definitely needed. 

For the tulle overskirt I cut the tulle about 7 inches shorter than the net an the chiffon (For Wub's dress the skirt is about 26 inches long so I cut the tulle at 19 inches) and serged the lace along one edge. I then used a double needle and sewed a satin ribbon over the serge line to hide the ugly.

 I also used about a a yard and a half less in length than the pattern called for. The pattern called for 2.75 yards cut in half lengthwise making each layer 5.5 yards each. I ordered the lace before I bought the pattern and only ordered four yards of lace. To be honest I'm not sure I could have got  three layers of 5.5 yards of fluffy, slippery fabric to gather around the waist. I felt like I had the fabric gathered as tight as it would go and there were still places that I had to pinch and pin to make it fit around. 

I also serged all the layers of tulle, net and chiffon together before attempting to gather them. It was a gut instinct and I was definitely glad I did. 

I used Nancy Zieman's method of gathering. The technique starts at 17:56 on the video. If you hate to gather this may change your mind. Or at least make it less stressful. I used upholstery weight thread and didn't have the slightest fear the threads would break. 

I attached the top layers using upholstery weight thread, a heavy duty topstitching needle and a fairly long stitch length. Worked a treat.

I wasn't sure whether the dress would need a lining so I tried it on Wub once the overskirt was sewn. Too sheer so I made a pale pink underskirt from some of the lining fabric I bought for a dollar a yard. I cut the underskirt 30 inches by 3 yards. I seamed it into a tube the folded up 1 inch and ironed it. I folded up a further 4 inches to form a deep hem and the used a black scallop stitch in two wide rows to hem it. 

 I know it won't really show, But I know it's there and that's enough for me. I sewed this onto the bodice facing which left a ring of ugly edge sandwiched between the skirts.

 I first attempted to serge these layers together but the serger said "No, thank you." and spit a needle at me. I ended up using upholstery thready and a wide zigzag stitch to tame this.

Then I sewed on seven, perfectly pink, perfectly sparkly buttons that I bought from the dollar bins at JoAnn's. 

*This is where the tears come in. I am recovering from yet another bout with bronchitis. I just finished up a round of antibiotics and steroids. The combination of illness, steroid crabbiness and extremely fussy sewing has not been so much fun. If  I hadn't been so happy with the end result of each step I might have just given up and bought her a dress. Fortunately I have been ecstatic with the results so all the trouble has been worth it.

  I woke up this morning achey, coughing and with a vaguely sore throat.  I powered through it, got all the machine sewing finished and sat down to hand sew the buttons. I do not enjoy hand sewing and I always save the buttons for last. Halfway through the buttons Wub came up to show me the painting she had just finished.

Wub: "Mommy look at my painting!"

Mommy: "Wub, be careful with the paint please."

Wub: "Do you like it?"

Then very wide eyes.

Mommy: "Did you just get paint on your dress?"

Bright yellow paint all over the front hem. Tears, frustration and me going to take a nap. 

Fortunately the paint came out. Later Wub and I had a talk about being cautious and why mommy was so upset in the first place. 

The dress is amazing. I don't usually use the P word in conjunction with Wub. There are so many better things to be than a Princess. An artist, a super hero, a doctor, a scholar for me these are better aspirations. I have to admit though, Wub is going to look like a princess in the dress. 

A punk rock princess.

Valentine Printable

 Right click on the picture to save to your computer. Sized 3.5 x 5. Print photo quality on card stock 4 per page.( In Windows XP choose to use the image 4 times (or 12) Reinsert in printer and print the back side.

Front

Back

Cut out and place in a plastic bag with swedish or gummi fish or goldfish crackers. Seal with a twist tie et voila! 

Little bags of fish just like from the pet store.

Well, without the impending funeral at sea.

Feel free to use, share, change in any manner you see fit. 

Happy Valentine's Day!

Shrimp Bisque

Thursday was our 9th wedding anniversary. (Viva la love!)

Being an awkward day to go out to eat we opted to stay home and have pan seared steaks, prickly potatoes and spinach. Because really who wants to spend $80-100 on dinner when you know you can cook better at home? I like to go to expensive dinners for food that I don't cook such as sushi and uh...sushi.

The day before we had shrimp and grits for dinner and I had a little less than a  pound of shrimp leftover. Since they's already been thawed once I decided I would cook them up as an appetizer for our romantic dinner.

I realised I also had all the shrimp shells and decided to make some stock to freeze. While I was making the stock it hit me that I should make shrimp bisque. Having never made it before I perused the intewebs for recipes then just made something up. Something pretty awesome.

Shrimp Bisque

2 lbs easy peel shrimp peeled and shells reserved. (You only need one pound of actual shrimp for the recipe but you need the two pounds worth of shrimp shells for the stock. You could poach or saute the remaining pound as a second course. Or perhaps plan this over two nights. One night make a shrimp pasta or shrimp and grits the second night the bisque. You could also save shells from easy peel shrimp in the freezer and make a larger quantity of stock then freeze and strain that stock and freeze it in quart baggies. After all that you will need about 6 cups of shrimp stock for this recipe and 1 pound of raw shrimp.)

The Stock
Reserved Shrimp Shells
One half of a large carrot finely diced*
One half of a stalk of celery finely diced*
One shallot finely diced (or you can use the green leaves from the leek)*
1/2 cup dry sherry (you may substitute white wine here but the sherry is better)
1/2 cup brandy (the only acceptable substitute here would be cognac)
One tablespoon tomato paste
Seven cups of water
One Tablespoon of olive oil
Salt to taste

In a large pot over medium heat saute the vegetables in olive oil with a pinch of salt until tender and translucent. Add the shrimp shells and cook until shells turn red. Add the sherry and brandy. Ignite and let the flames die off if you like, otherwise cook for one or two minutes. Add the tomato paste and water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for 30-40 minutes.
Remove from heat and salt to slightly under your taste. If using immediately-ish pour stock through a strainer into a clean bowl or pan. Press on the veg and shells to extract all the stock. If doing ahead allow to cool for one hour before refrigerating shells and all.When ready to use pour stock through a strainer into a clean bowl or pan. Press on the veg and shells to extract all the stock. (Keep in coldest part of fridge one or two days max. Can be frozen once strained)

The Bisque
1 pound of raw shrimp
*The other half of carrot chopped
*The other half of the celery chopped
*One leek white part only, cleaned and chopped (Leeks are very sandy rinse them extremely well. You can  use the green part as a substitute for the shallot in the stock recipe above.)
Heavy pinch of red pepper flakes
Small pinch rosemary
Two Tablespoons butter
One Tablespoon olive oil
1/4 cup flour
Two Tablespoons tomato paste
6 cups shrimp stock (If you have less than that from the above recipe add enough water to make 6 cups. If you have more just let the soup reduce slightly.)
1/2 cup dry sherry (you may substitute white wine here but the sherry is better)
1/2 cup brandy (the only acceptable substitute here would be cognac)
Pinch of sugar (may not need)
1 cup heavy cream
Salt and pepper to taste.

In a large pot over medium low heat saute the vegetables, in butter and olive oil with a pinch of salt, the red pepper flakes and the thyme until they are tender and translucent. Add the flour and cook and stir two minutes. Remove from heat and when it stops bubbling whisk in the stock, tomato paste, sherry and brandy. Put the pot back on the high heat and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer for 5 minutes.

Give the broth a taste, there is a faint inherent sweetness that shrimp have, you are trying to echo that in the broth. If it's missing add a small pinch of sugar and salt and pepper to taste. Cook for a minute and test again. You can add one more small pinch of sugar if needed.

Add the shrimp and cook 2 minutes until shrimp just begin to curl and pinken. The shrimp will not be fully done but the hot broth and final heat will finish them, pinky swear. Remove soup from heat and either puree to desired smoothness in the pan with a stick blender or in batches in a blender or food processor. Return to a bare simmer and stir in cream. Serve immediately. Can be made ahead and very gently reheated.

Chloeisms

It's been awhile...

Chloe: "You know that movie that's like Alice in Wonderland but it's got a good witch and a bad witch?"
Daddy: "The Wizard of Oz?."
Chloe: "Yes"

She was explaining her secret recipe to me.
Chloe: "My recipe has garlic in it and that stuff that's like vegetable oil."
Mommy: "Olive oil?"
Chloe: "No, it's not slidey at all."
Mommy: "Butter?"
Chloe: "No."
Mommy: "Shortening? Lard?"
Chloe: "No, you can't break it all. It comes in a can or a box and you pour it in."
Mommy: "Chicken broth?"
Chloe: "Yes! chicken broth! and the very best part of the secret? My recipe has tomatoes! Yum!"

Resolutions.

When Mom was in the hospital our motto and running gag was "Don't judge me."
"Can I bring you back something to drink?" "Yes, I want tea with six sugars and a really lot of cream. Don't judge me."
"I've been wearing these pants for three days. Don't judge me."
"My daughter hasn't had a bath in five days. Don't judge me."
"All I've eaten today is french fries. Don't judge me.

In the last few days we had with her we made an awful, terrible, painful choice. It was my job/choice to explain the decision to everyone. Every time and to every person, running beneath the surface was a huge "Don't judge me."

In grief we often say and do terrible things to the people who love us. Later on after the storm has passed we regret the damage we've done. Sometimes it's too late. I was losing my mother I couldn't bear whispers of "They just let her die." or worse "They killed her."

It is the end of the year today. In many places the New Year has already begun. All around people are making resolutions. To Eat better or exercise more. To clean house, organise, prioritise, do more, do less. Striving to make up for their shortcomings and failures wanting to be better.

I try not make resolutions.

I try not to look back harshly on myself.

But I do.

And it's been a really, really bad year in many ways. Jacob being ill and Mom dying were bitter icing on a crap cake.

Things will get better and things will get worse.

But this year I am making a resolution to follow my motto. "Don't judge me." I'm going to do my best to remember that everyone has their own pain, their own motivation, their own set of values. They may be very different from mine but that doesn't make them less valid. So I will do my best to judge less and empathise more.

Don't judge me and I won't judge you either.
Happy New Year.

A little back story first.

I'm not sure when it started sometime around my tenth or eleventh birthday. My mother asked me "Your birthday is on the 9th, right?" "No, Mom it's on the 8th." At first I thought she was joking, she had that kind of sense of humour. Year after year  of "Your birthday is on the 9th, right?" "No, Mom it's on the 8th." made me unsure.

So unsure that when I finally got a hold of my birth certificate I was relieved to see that it really was the 8th. 

After my 18th birthday the question only came up every few years. She'd still ask every once in awhile and I'd tell her no, it was George's birthday that was on the 9th. 

I never did find out for sure if she was joking or just had so many kids she couldn't quite remember. It was probably a bit of both. 

So Monday Pat calls me and says "Happy Birthday". We talk for a minute and I begin to suspect that he thinks it actually is my birthday. "You know my birthday was yesterday, right?' "Isn't your birthday on the 9th?"

I laughed and laughed and then explained about Mom to him. I got off the phone feeling a little better. Maybe even a lot better. I just miss Mom so much that I basically pushed through my birthday waiting for it to be over. When I least expected it was like she found a way to reach out and wish me a Happy Birthday one last time. 

What an amazing gift.

How do you take the measure of a life? Is it in the years you've lived? Is it in the money you've made? Amount of friends? Your great successes?

My mother was the seventh of eleven children. She was "raised" by a terribly abusive father and harsh and selfish mother. Despite being dirt poor, abused and sometimes abandoned she could look back on her childhood and pluck out moments of great joy and real humour. Though we knew that her childhood had been rough to say the least, we also were treated to fabulous tales of failed flight from chicken coops, snakes tucked under caps intended to terrify her mother and hilarious stories of her capers with my Aunt Carol. My mother chose to look back at the love and the light in her life as opposed to the pain and darkness. She always believed it was better to laugh than cry.

The legacy of abuse by her father stopped with her. Our mother did not hit us or belittle us. She was so opposed to spanking that one of the rare times my father swatted my bottom for saying a swear, Mom threw a rolling pin at him that narrowly missed his head, flew through a window and hit the side of the neighbours house. When we started school she told us if any teacher were to ever send us down to the office for a spanking we were instead to leave the school and go home to get her and she would take care of the matter.

She was always our champion. When any of my brothers and sisters did something wrong (I was the good child) she was always at the forefront defending us whether we deserved it or not. She always told us we were the best and smartest and wonderfullest children in the world. Not to bolster our self esteem but because she really and truly believed it.

Mom believed that family was the most important thing. She instilled in us a sense of friendship and camaraderie and "usness" that people on the outside often don't understand. "How can you work together/see each other so often and not fight? We do fight, we do get angry, we are not perfect but there are no other people in the world like my sisters and brothers. We don't always get along (although we do usually get along) but we always have each others back. It is in our best interest to work out our differences and work together. And we learned that from Mom.

She was not perfect but she did her best to fill our childhood with love, laughter and joy.

She did that for a lot of people.

Some came to sit by her side for just a moment longer. For you who held her hand, spoke to her and aided in her comfort we are ever grateful. The love that surrounded my mother in that room was like a sun to light her way.

I am so blessed to be a part of her life